You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
