he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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