I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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