You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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