white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
