With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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