good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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