dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize