id be glad to
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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