Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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