Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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