Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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