Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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