dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
