Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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