The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
