Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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