I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
