Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
