i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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