so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
