So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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