My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
