I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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