I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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