Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
