Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
