i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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