Your face is a jimmy john
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
