is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
