I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I love you. Go after that dick
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
