I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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