actually, I'm a sock model
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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