Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sorry about my life...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
