i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
