didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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