no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
