Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
