...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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