I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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