you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
