You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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