he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize