I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
