If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
