this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
