idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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