I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Barsexuality is the new black.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My ass is underappreciated
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
