what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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