It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
