I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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