hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
