1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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