so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize