Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
