I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
