Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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