Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I puked a lego.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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