listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize