i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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