Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
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Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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