every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
