It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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