im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
