last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
