well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
