so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
