it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
