He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
