We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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