It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize