Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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